Let's start with the obvious: I'm sorry I have been so absent over the last several months. After several years of being relatively consistent with streams, videos, and posts, I am embarrassed I fell off as hard a I did.
I'm going to be real with you. Things got hard. I don't mean "oh I'm busy and just can't figure out how to fit everything in" hard, but emotionally and mentally "I really should be on medication and see a therapist, I am in a bad place" hard. I knew that, but also fell into that hole that other people are likely familiar with where I was too far into that place to muster the energy, physical and mental, to do it. I used busy as an excuse for the lack fo time for setting up any appointments, which to a degree were true, but probably not as true as I talked myself into believing.
I'm in a better spot now. The things that were dragging me down subsided, the things that are uplifting are no longer fighting that gravity and are actually elevating me, I've talked to a doctor and got on some meds to manage my anxiety and depression, and I finally sort of feel like I am really present again instead of just barely existing.
Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to not just get back into the swing of things, but I also want to talk a bit about what the last year or so has looked like. Some of it will just be to catch you up on what's affecting my life and what I'm working on, but some of it will be rooted in "lessons learned" things I want to share.
For now, I'm going to let my allergies finish destroying me and use the forced downtime to do things like sleep and read and actually go outside. See you all soon, glad to be back <3
I'm going to be real with you. Things got hard. I don't mean "oh I'm busy and just can't figure out how to fit everything in" hard, but emotionally and mentally "I really should be on medication and see a therapist, I am in a bad place" hard. I knew that, but also fell into that hole that other people are likely familiar with where I was too far into that place to muster the energy, physical and mental, to do it. I used busy as an excuse for the lack fo time for setting up any appointments, which to a degree were true, but probably not as true as I talked myself into believing.
I'm in a better spot now. The things that were dragging me down subsided, the things that are uplifting are no longer fighting that gravity and are actually elevating me, I've talked to a doctor and got on some meds to manage my anxiety and depression, and I finally sort of feel like I am really present again instead of just barely existing.
Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to not just get back into the swing of things, but I also want to talk a bit about what the last year or so has looked like. Some of it will just be to catch you up on what's affecting my life and what I'm working on, but some of it will be rooted in "lessons learned" things I want to share.
For now, I'm going to let my allergies finish destroying me and use the forced downtime to do things like sleep and read and actually go outside. See you all soon, glad to be back <3
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